I didn’t know Charlie Kirk personally. I’d only heard about a young man who traveled to college campuses, sharing the Gospel and standing against the world’s lies. I caught glimpses of him speaking truth where deception had been embraced.
But until a couple of weeks ago—when he was murdered at one of his events—I didn’t fully understand what drove his passion and purpose.
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In faith-based fiction, a character’s backstory is the thread that weaves depth and authenticity into their journey. As a Christian author, knowing how and when to share a character’s past is key to keeping your readers engaged without bogging down the narrative.
Below, we’ll explore effective ways to include backstory while maintaining the pace and emotional pull of your story.
Backstory builds connection. When readers understand what shaped your characters, they naturally empathize with their struggles and triumphs. It’s especially powerful in Christian storytelling, where redemption and grace often play central roles.
Here are some strategies to keep your backstory compelling and natural:
When crafted with care, backstory enriches your characters and elevates your story. Whether you write faith-based fiction or general character-driven novels, remember that your readers want to discover your characters gradually — like peeling back layers to reveal the heart of the story.
When it comes to writing memorable stories—especially in faith-based fiction—how you introduce your characters can make all the difference. The first glimpse readers get of your protagonist, antagonist, or supporting cast sets the tone for how they’ll connect with them throughout the Christian novel.
Whether you’re writing sweeping historical Christian fiction or a heartfelt contemporary story, here are some creative approaches to introducing your characters in ways that draw readers in and keep them turning the pages.
Instead of simply telling readers what your character looks like, show them doing something that reflects their personality.
– A determined missionary hauling a broken cart through muddy streets.
– A shy young woman in a church foyer, quietly folding bulletins while avoiding eye contact.
By letting readers see your character in motion, you invite them into the story world instantly.
Words carry weight—especially in Christian fiction, where conversations often explore values, beliefs, and personal struggles. Introduce your character through a conversation that hints at their backstory or inner conflict.
Example:
“I’m not much for prayer meetings,” he said, glancing at the stained-glass window. “But I guess the Lord’s been chasing me longer than I realized.”
Sometimes the most intriguing introductions happen when one character describes another. This can add mystery or create instant emotional stakes. In a Christian novel, it can also show spiritual contrasts or shared faith.
Example:
“Everyone says Pastor Grant has a way of making you feel like you belong—even if you’ve been running from God for years.”
Faith-based stories often use setting to reflect a character’s spiritual journey. Maybe your protagonist is introduced kneeling in a dusty attic, searching through an old Bible for answers. Or perhaps we meet them in the chaos of a disaster relief center, handing out water with a quiet smile.
Through a Moment of CrisisThrowing your character into a tense situation instantly shows what they’re made of. The crisis doesn’t have to be life-threatening—just a moment that demands a choice.
In Christian fiction, these moments can reveal spiritual values early on. Maybe a character sacrifices their own comfort to help a stranger or stands firm when their faith is challenged.
A strong character introduction blends emotional connection with a sense of curiosity. Whether you use action, dialogue, other characters, or symbolic settings, the goal is to make readers want to know more.
In faith-based fiction, this first impression is also a chance to hint at the deeper themes—redemption, grace, forgiveness—that will unfold throughout your Christian novel. After all, the people we meet at the start of the story are often the ones who will show us the greatest transformation by the end.
If you’d like to know more about Christian Fiction or read one of my books, visit my writings page.
In Christian fiction, character development is central to storytelling. One of the most powerful tools a writer has is dialogue. More than just talk, dialogue reveals who a character is—what they believe, what they fear, and how they grow. Used with intention, dialogue becomes a mirror to the soul and a map for transformation.
Examples from Christian FictionThe way your character speaks mirrors how they change—a key principle in compelling character development:
Dialogue isn’t just how characters talk—it’s how they reveal their hearts. It builds trust, exposes wounds, expresses hope, and testifies to faith. In Christian fiction, where stories aim to illuminate both human frailty and divine grace, authentic dialogue is an indispensable tool.
Keywords: character development, Christian fiction, writing authentic dialogue, show don’t tell, spiritual growth in fiction, Christian character arcs, faith-based storytelling, how to write dialogue
In Christian fiction, every compelling character deserves an equally compelling world. Setting is far more than a backdrop—it’s a silent character of its own. It infuses mood into moments, challenges protagonists to grow, and often reveals the hidden truths of their hearts. Used with intention, setting becomes:
– an emotional mirror
– a source of conflict
– and a cradle for transformation
Below are some writing tips for any Christian writer looking to deepen their character development through setting:
Setting as a Catalyst for TransformationFinal Thoughts for the Christian Writer
In Christian fiction, setting should never be mere scenery. Ask yourself:
– Does my character resist their world—or does the world shape them despite themselves?
– Is their environment an ally, a challenger, or a reflection of their faith journey?
Use setting not as ornamentation but as revelation. After all, the world you build isn’t just where your character lives—it’s who they are when no one is watching.
Loneliness in the Christian life is something we often hide behind smiles and busy schedules. As Christians, we know we’re never truly alone—God is always with us. But that doesn’t stop the ache we sometimes feel in our hearts when connection seems out of reach. What do we do when our prayers feel like they’re bouncing off the ceiling, and our lives feel too quiet? This post offers a Christian response to emotional pain and shares how to navigate spiritual loneliness with faith.
It’s tempting to believe that if we just trusted God more, we wouldn’t feel lonely. But that’s not what the Bible shows us. King David poured out his heart in the Psalms about loneliness, often feeling abandoned or isolated (Psalm 25:16). Even Jesus, in His darkest hour, cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). Feeling alone as a Christian doesn’t mean your faith is broken—it means you’re human.
Sometimes we confuse silence with absence. But God is often working in the quiet. Elijah experienced this firsthand. After a dramatic showdown on Mount Carmel, he fled in fear and depression. God didn’t meet him in the earthquake or fire—but in a “gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:11-12). If you’ve ever asked, “Why do I feel lonely even with faith?”, know that God’s presence in loneliness is real—even if it feels subtle. In seasons of silence, He may be inviting us to listen more closely.
When loneliness sets in, sometimes it’s hard to know what to do next. Here are a few simple, faith-centered steps you can take:
You don’t have to do all of these. Just one small step might lead to deeper healing.
Christian community and connection is a beautiful gift, but it doesn’t always happen automatically. Sometimes, we have to take the first step—joining a small group, volunteering, or even reaching out to a friend with honesty. Hebrews 10:24–25 reminds us to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds… not giving up meeting together.” If you’re wondering how Christians deal with loneliness, this is part of the answer: real connection takes courage and effort.
Your loneliness may not be wasted. Paul wrote many of his epistles from prison, isolated from those he loved. Yet God used that time to speak through him to the Church throughout the ages. If you’re struggling with faith and loneliness, consider that this quiet season might be one where God is shaping something new in you. You may even be positioned to offer Christian encouragement for loneliness to someone else who feels unseen.
At the end of the day, our greatest comfort isn’t found in crowds or even friendships—it’s in the truth that God knows us fully and loves us completely (Psalm 139). You are never invisible to Him. Your spiritual loneliness isn’t overlooked. It matters to God—and He is with you in it. When God feels distant, remember He is always working—even in the silence.
If you’re walking through a lonely season as a Christian, know this: you’re not walking alone. Lean into the presence of God, reach out to the people He’s placed around you, and trust that even in silence, He is near. And if you know someone who might be feeling the same, maybe today’s the day to send that message or make that call.
The Power of Storytelling in the Christian Life
In a world overwhelmed by noise and distraction, stories have a way of reaching hearts in a quiet, personal way. As a Christian fiction author, I’ve discovered how deeply faith-based stories can reflect our real struggles—grief, doubt, hope, and healing—and ultimately point us back to God’s grace.
Fiction rooted in faith offers more than just entertainment. It creates space for reflection, connection, and encouragement—especially when it mirrors the challenges believers face every day.
When Fiction Feels Like Your Story
One of the most common things I hear from readers is, “It felt like you wrote this just for me.” That’s the beauty of faith-filled storytelling. Even when the characters are fictional, the emotions are very real.
These are not just plotlines—they’re deeply human experiences. In Light of Grace, I wove these elements into the story to help readers not only see themselves but also see how God’s light can shine even in the darkest moments.
Redemption at the Heart of Every Chapter
Christian fiction stands apart because it never ends with despair. There is always the thread of redemption—through Christ, through community, through the quiet workings of grace. That’s what I strive to write: not just emotionally engaging novels, but Christian stories about loss and healing that leave readers feeling uplifted, not empty.
We all carry silent stories of struggle. When a fictional character walks a similar path—and finds hope in God—it reminds us that we’re not alone.
Why Grace Matters in Every Genre
Whether you’re drawn to romance, drama, or historical fiction, when grace is woven in, the story becomes more than a story—it becomes a ministry. That’s the calling I feel as a Christian inspirational writer: to bring hope to the page and invite readers into a deeper awareness of God’s presence in their own lives.
If you’re searching for books that speak to your heart and your faith, I’d love to invite you to explore my books. Through my writing, I aim to offer inspirational Christian books that remind you: God is not finished writing your story.
If you’re an author hoping to connect with readers on a deeper level, one of the most important questions you can ask yourself is: Do my readers actually care about my characters?
It’s a hard truth, but sometimes even the best plots fall flat because the characters feel two-dimensional or lack motivation. As writers, we’ve all experienced that moment of setting a book aside because we couldn’t relate to or invest in the story’s people. That’s why character development in fiction writing is critical—and it starts before you even begin writing your first chapter.
One of the best resources to help with this is Plot Versus Character by Jeff Gerke, which guides writers through building compelling character arcs before diving into plot structure.
Many writers—Christian fiction authors, indie authors, and novelists—have asked some version of this question, even if worded differently. Maybe you’ve asked one of these:
In this article, we’ll explore essential tools and approaches for building rich, believable characters that truly move your story forward and keep readers engaged to the final page.
A well-developed character brings a story to life. Even the most action-packed plot won’t resonate if the reader doesn’t care what happens to the people within it. Your characters need goals, motivations, and internal struggles that unfold naturally over the course of the story.
Start by asking yourself:
Character development begins before your first draft. This early work shapes your story’s emotional core and helps ensure your plot serves the characters—not the other way around.
Understanding your character’s temperament can be incredibly helpful. These tools offer insight into how your characters think, feel, and behave.
“You must know your character’s internal journey if you want to create emotional depth in your plot.”
— Jeff Gerke, Plot vs. Character
Knowing where your character came from will help you show where they’re going. You don’t have to include every detail in your book, but you, the author, should know:
This work informs their decisions, goals, and reactions throughout the novel.
Your antagonist is more than just a villain. Like your protagonist, they need goals, motivations, and depth. Consider:
A strong antagonist raises the stakes and makes your protagonist’s journey more meaningful.
Here are a few tools that can help you dive deeper into character development in fiction writing:
…and you’re struggling to create characters that feel real, memorable, and emotionally compelling—know that you’re not alone. Character development takes work, but it’s work that pays off.
We provide character development insights, resources, and encouragement to help you grow as a writer and fulfill your storytelling mission.
A character development in fiction writing resource for Christian fiction writers, indie authors, and novelists
Whether you’re working on your first book or refining your tenth, Lori Domingo offers faith-filled guidance and powerful storytelling tools. Discover how character development and deep storytelling can reflect spiritual truths and inspire readers.
Explore Christian inspirational books and resources for your writing journey today.
Have you ever?
Have you ever picked up a book only to put it down after reading just a few chapters? Or, having finished a book, have you felt completely unsatisfied, as if the book failed you in some way? Someone told me once that probably the main reason we delve into a work of fiction is to escape. What I’ve found is that, while a book can be filled with exotic settings or fast-paced action, it can still feel “flat” to me. When I put some thought into it, I realized that the main reason the book felt “flat” to me was because I didn’t care about the main characters. I felt no sense of empathy for them. I found no reason to cheer them on. I didn’t like or dislike them. I simply didn’t care about them – or what happened to them. In short, I felt nothing. Surely, I can’t be the only one whose had this experience.
Which One Are You?
I’ve said before that, until the last two years or so I was what’s known as a “pantser” versus a “plotter” This simply means that my preferred method of writing was to just sit down and write, letting the story go where it wanted to. Okay, so deciding on just what type of writer I thought I am seemed hard enough. But there was another question out there in the writer’s world that I had given little thought to: am I a plot-first or a character-first novelist? (insert the “a heavy sigh escaped her lips unnoticed” here)
Does it Really Matter?
I had to spend some time creating character sketches for my main characters during my MFA program. This included using some personality tests and other materials. It was fun, but in all honesty, I didn’t think much about the whole process. Here’s a quick look at what I had when I sat down to write Light of Grace:
-I had my story idea, which was 100% inspired by the song, “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again” by Danny Gokey.
– I had my plot outline. I used the three-act structure for this and it worked pretty well.
-and I knew where I wanted my main character to be at the end, and that an encounter with Grace Wilkes would help get her to that place. What else did I need, right?
When I received the following feedback from a contest judge I’d entered the novel in, I felt quite a sense of accomplishment:
“This book is exemplary in character appeal (or interest) and development. All main characters (including antagonists) are unique and fully fleshed out with compelling, layered motivations and traits. Secondary characters are unique and have a meaningful purpose.”
Judge, 32nd Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards
I’m convinced now that it was only by the grace of God that my character development came together as well as it did.
Food for Thought
I’m now in the process of writing my second novel, “More than Promises.” While I don’t really consider it a sequel to Light of Grace, it does navigate through the life of Lilly Wilkes, the daughter of the two main characters in my previous book. I sat down with an idea inspired by a song – “Broken Together” by Casting Crowns, a very rough plot outline (and I mean rough), and the general idea of how I want the story to end – where I want my main character to be when I write those last words. Sounds familiar, right?
I’m going to say here that the Lord was watching me and He knew that I was likely to wander off track with this one, so He arranged for one of my reference books to practically jump off the shelf into my hands one day. I dropped the book on the table next to my computer, figuring I’d look through it eventually. Well…when “eventually” came, the book just “happened” to fall open to Chapter 10, which is entitled “Create Interesting Characters Who Don’t All Sound Like You” (Gerke 46). Okay – I did a quick reality check and determined that my characters didn’t all sound like me. I mean, just the fact that Sara Jacobs (main character in Light of Grace) was a confident, highly skilled heart surgeon made her different enough from me. She had goals and was living the life of her dreams (again…not like me). All was well.
I proceeded to analyze Lilly Wilkes and could also see that she didn’t sound like me. But, as I scanned the next page of the above-mentioned book, I read this eye-opening couple of sentences: “In a plot-first novelist’s book, the characters almost always sound the same, act the same, and seem the same. They have different attitudes or goals, but it’s more like the same person just being mad, jealous, conniving, or whatever” (Gerke 47). I couldn’t help but wonder if, while Lilly Wilkes doesn’t sound like me, does she sound like her mother – was she the same character just with different goals?
Ask Yourself
Like I said – Mr. Gerke’s words have really made me think about character development and just how important it is. With that in mind, I thought that it might be helpful to my fellow writers if we explored character development together through a short series of blog posts. I don’t consider myself an expert on the subject, so I’ll be referring to a few of the resources I think will be most helpful to all of us writers. Perhaps the best place to start is by asking yourself, “Do all of my characters sound the same (or like me)? I’d love to hear how you go about developing characters the reader loves to love (or loves to hate), so if you’ve got any suggestions, please feel free to share them!
Gerke, Jeff. the art and craft of writing Christian Fiction. F+W Media Inc. 2014
The Question
Perhaps one of the most-asked questions I’ve been on the receiving end of across my authorial journey is, “Why did you decide on the Christian genre?” I think the answer most expect is that I believe I was “called” by God to explore the genre. While that’s a very good reason to write in the genre, it never really felt like it was my reason. I’ve always believed that what I’ve been called to do is use the gifts God has given me to share the message of His love with others – some of which might not ever hear it outside of having possibly picked up my book by chance. A handful of years after stepping into writing in the Christian genre, I can still say that is my primary motivation behind everything I write (or hope to write).
A Look Behind the Scenes
Recently, however, I’ve been doing some pretty deep soul-searching because I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was another, more personal, reason behind just why I ventured into the world of the Christian genre author. The reason finally made itself apparent to me today as I was trying to put together a mental plot outline for my latest book, “More than Promises.” I started this book quite a while ago, and have written roughly 1700 words to date – and every thought was a struggle to put into words. I’d sit down and attempt to do so, but usually just end up walking away from it. Trust me when I say that there’s not anything that’s more frustrating to a writer than being at a loss for words. Why can’t I get it, I ask myself almost angrily. This just isn’t me, God – please help me with this. Please give me my words…
First Things First
It was as I was pacing back and forth through the house this morning that God gave me part of my answer. I suddenly realized that before I could write another word, I had to know why I wanted to write them – or, in this case, why I needed to write them. It became clear to me that the more personal reason for writing within the Christian genre – at least during this season God has put me in – is because I’m writing through grief. I’m trying to make sense of questions like, “Why does God let bad things happen to good people?” or “We prayed for healing…something we KNOW God can (and does) do…but that healing didn’t come – He chose not to heal that person. With those thoughts in my heart, I looked back on my first novel, Light of Grace, and could clearly see that I was trying to write through the grief of unexpectedly losing my mom in her sleep one night. When I started writing “More than Promises,” I had a general idea of where I wanted the story to go but couldn’t put my finger on the reason I wanted to write it. Lo and behold, there it was again – writing through grief.
When the Answer Doesn’t Come
Sometimes – most times, actually – when we’re suffering, we’re looking for answers that will help ease our pain. As a Christian, I look to God for those answers. But here’s the thing – sometimes – most times, actually – those answers don’t come. Or, at least not in my timing – when I want them to.
I recently lost a very dear friend to a glioblastoma. It seemed as if her diagnosis was sudden, but the cancer had been growing inside of her brain for a long time – she just had no idea. I mean, who would have ever thought something so unimaginable was going on? It wasn’t until her symptoms manifested themselves to the point that it was obvious that something was wrong that she was taken to the hospital. Within a day of this, she’d withdrawn into herself…and she never came back to us…to me. She underwent surgery but it made no difference. In four short months, this beautiful, godly soul was gone – and while I’m happy that she’s home with the Lord now, the hole left in her absence is one that I feel each and every day.
God chose not to answer my prayers. He chose not to heal her, but to call her home to Him instead. Even as a believer, that’s a tough one to deal with – to simply accept the fact that there are so many “reasons” that we will never know.
Back to My Journey
So…for now at least…the Lord has shown me that a big part of my journey as a Christian author will be to write through grief. I want to work through it in the lives of my characters as they struggle with the same questions I’m struggling with. And one day, in His timing…if it’s His will…I will walk through my season of grief and find that He did answer my prayers – only instead of healing my dear friend, He has healed me.
So, Join Me
I fully understand that not every one of us is immune to the grief the loss of a loved one brings to our hearts. My prayer is that we might walk through this journey together – that maybe we can join with the characters of “More than Promises” and learn from them as they walk the same paths with us. And if it’s God’s will – maybe someone will find healing within the pages. So, please join me. Please pray for me as I walk through putting this grief into words. May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard your hearts.
BEAUTY FROM ASHES
In my first novel, Light of Grace, the reader walks alongside Sara Jacobs as she navigates the path of shattered dreams and grief toward learning to live again. What God teaches her along the way is that He does, in fact, make beauty from the ashes of our lives if we are willing to let Him. I’ll be transparent here and admit that, in so many ways, I still haven’t been quite able to open myself up completely to learning that lesson. But, like each one of us, I’m a work-in-progress.
WHAT WILL COME NEXT?
That was a question I was asked more than once by a few people who were kind enough to read my book before I published it. As I fumbled around for a response only to answer, “I don’t really know,” it was suggested that I write a second novel focusing on a character introduced briefly in the epilogue of Light of Grace, Lilly Wilkes. Lilly was the gift God created from the ashes of Sara’s life.
I have to say that I wasn’t really captured by that idea at first. I pulled out my first novel manuscript (one that never saw the light of day and probably never will) and toyed with the idea of re-writing it, moving it from the Romance genre to the Christian fiction genre. I tried. Many times. But it just wouldn’t come together. As I prayed about it, it felt as if the Lord was steering me towards picking up where Light of Grace left off and following Lilly Wilkes’ story. To date, I’ve only written about 4800 words, but the idea is slowly coming together. Once again, the spark came from a song: Broken Together by Casting Crowns. I’m currently struggling with making a plot outline while simply sitting down and writing, to see where the story will go – but it is my goal to have the novel completed by the end of 2025.
COMING in 2025:
So, please allow me to introduce my next novel, “More than Promises.”
Lilly Wilkes left her hometown with her dreams and her faith tucked away in her heart. Being accepted into Julliard promised the chance to make those dreams come true. Choosing between pursuing the path she believed God had put before her and the road paved by the pressures to fit in was never part of her plan. When a chance meeting with Marcus Allen, one of the biggest names in the music industry, catapults her into living in the spotlight, choices are made and lines are crossed. With her innocence lost, will her buried faith be enough to save her? Or will the person she used to be remain lost in the darkness of who she had become?
In the meantime, please check out Light of Grace, available on Amazon, in both a Kindle and paperback edition. Thanks for your support!
It’s a New Year…
The arrival of a new year is typically accompanied by the desire for “new” things: new goals, new dreams, and even contemplating what the list of the best Christian books of 2025 might look like. Because of my own search for both Christian fiction and a new yearly devotional, I thought I’d go through my own book collection and compile a list of some of my favorites. These are not new titles for 2025, but titles I definitely would recommend as the books to read in 2025, with my own books taking the top spots on my list 🙂
Christian Fiction:
Christian Non-fiction:
Devotionals:
Have Fun Reading!
I sure hope that sharing some of my favorites will guide you in picking out your best Christian books for 2025. Thanks in advance for (hopefully) choosing to add mine to your list!
Christmas Past
I have so many fond memories of the Christmases of my childhood. Each year, no matter where my dad was stationed, he would load us – and all the Christmas gifts – into the old station wagon and head to my grandparent’s house in West Virginia. It was a trip we looked forward to every year regardless of how many days it took us to get there. My brother, sister and I would sit there in the back seat, watching the miles roll by, with the question, “Are we there yet?” never far from our minds.
So, when I had children of my own, I had this innate drive to make Christmas as special as I could. We couldn’t always traverse the miles between our military base and home, but my family always made sure the kids had lots of gifts to open on Christmas morning (even when I was stationed in Frankfurt, Germany, which really took some doing!). As the years passed, the Christmas gifts went from toys to electronics, but we always managed somehow.
Christmas Present
Now, all my kids are grown, with children of their own. I love Christmas shopping for them! I remember walking into a Toys-R-Us a few years ago with my sister-in-law and we both stood in awe of the enormous selection of toys. I’ll confess that I’ve really come to love the online shopping available now, but every now and then, I get the urge to actually go into a store and just wander the aisles looking for the “perfect” gift. Not only has my family grown – I have four grandchildren now – but my sister has four as well. So, a few years ago, we came together as a (large) family and made the agreement that we would focus our gift-giving on the kids. Doing so has actually made it more fun because the budget doesn’t have to be stretched as far.
A Little Different this Year
For some reason, this year feels a little different for me, so I decided to shop for the adults in the family along with the kids. That’s what I told my dad I wanted for Christmas. Little did I know the chaos this would add to things. I sent out all the texts, asking for gift ideas – and the replies I received came with a discovery: Christmas gifts for the men in the family are considerably easier to shop for than Christmas gifts for the women in the family. Believe it or not, most of the men simply said they could use some new socks. I can remember as a teenager getting clothes and stuff for Christmas and I never quite understood it – but now I know why. It’s easy – or, at least for the guys, I should add. The responses I received from the women in the family (or their spouses when I asked them about it) ranged from, “I don’t really need anything,” to “I’ll have to think about it.” In short, they answered without really answering. In light of this discovery, I now realize that I’m on my own in terms of finding the “right” Christmas gift for the women in the family. Just the thought of it is daunting.
A Little Help
As Christmas draws near – it’s just two weeks away – I’ve turned to asking my grandchildren for some ideas for their moms. Granted – they range in age from 3.5 years to just turned 7, so it’s hard to tell what we might come up with. But one thing is for sure – whatever it ends up being, it will be given from my heart. And isn’t that what matters most? Isn’t that the best kind of gift there is?
Just a side note here – if you have a reader on your list of Christmas gifts for women, please check out my novel, Light of Grace, and my collaborative devotional project, Journeys of Faith: Two Ordinary People, One Extraordinary God – available on Amazon as both a Kindle and paperback edition.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
Lori Domingo
My journey as an author of Christian books has taken me down paths in both faith-based fiction and devotional literature. I’ve always enjoyed exploring creative nonfiction, but when the idea of a collaborative devotional project came to mind, I honestly wasn’t sure what it would involve. I had a library of devotionals to guide me, giving me an idea of the “moving parts” I’d need. However, I wasn’t certain where those “moving parts” would come from.
And So It Began…
As I reflected on it, it became clear that for the type of project, we wanted to create, those elusive moving parts would have to come from my own life — from the mundane moments to the hidden “skeletons” in my closet. That realization made me extremely uncomfortable. I’ve always been a private person, protective of my personal struggles. Opening up felt daunting, but one day, the Lord impressed upon me that it was time to be what I had avoided the most: vulnerable. Despite my resistance, I realized that vulnerability was necessary.
Painful…
Each devotional piece was born from prayer and deep reflection. Some stories brought humor, but most unearthed painful memories and emotions I had long buried. Writing through the pain allowed me to illustrate how the Lord kept His promise to never leave me. By sharing my mistakes and heartaches, I hoped to convey this message of God’s unfailing presence. While I often couldn’t see His hand during those difficult times, looking back, His guidance was unmistakable.
The End…
Surprisingly, the easiest part was connecting each story to the perfect Scripture verse, which helped me see the beauty of God’s promise to always stay by my side. I was even more surprised when many readers commented, “You were pretty vulnerable.” God held my hand through one of my greatest fears — vulnerability — and, in doing so, created a connection others could relate to. As a writer of Christian books, what more could I hope for?
If you enjoy devotional literature, please feel free to check out my collaborative project, Journeys of Faith: Two Ordinary People, One Extraordinary God, available on Amazon as both a paperback and Kindle edition. I’d love to hear about your journeys of faith, so please share!
WRITING A BOOK IS EASY…
Said no one ever. Or, at least no one who has ever seriously given it a try. I remember when I made the transition from the Romance genre to trying my hand at both faith-based fiction and Christian nonfiction. It seemed to come rather naturally to me – and because of this, I had not counted on hitting the same roadblocks I’d run into prior to switching to the genre. I envisioned the words flowing generously onto the pages as my endless well of ideas overflowed with inspiration. It turns out I have not found that “easy button” I thought I’d stumbled onto.
JUST THE OPPOSITE
It’s not that my life isn’t still full of situations that are way out of my control. It’s not that I don’t still find comfort in the pages of God’s word. As I sit here, looking back at the last several months, I can see so many times where it was only by God’s grace that I pulled through. What I can’t seem to figure out is why I feel so “dry” inside whenever I sit down to write – when I try to share what I’ve been walking through in hopes of helping someone else find hope and encouragement when God seems to be so far away – so quiet.
I STILL BELIEVE
I have to say that it’s pretty frustrating to not be able to do what I feel I’ve been given the gift from God to do – to share the message of His love and forgiveness through my writing. It would be easy to just say that maybe I was never supposed to be an author of Christian books after all. But what I do know is that’s not the “easy button” I’ve been searching for. What I do know is that I still believe in God’s promises and that He is faithful – and that, while He may seem far away and quiet right now, He is still right here with me, where He always has – and always will – be. And maybe in times like these, all He wants me to do is to be still and know that He is God.
KEEP ON WRITING
So, I’m not going to give up just yet. I’m not going to walk away without even trying. I’ll get past the disappointment and doubts that the enemy is working so hard to plant in my heart and mind. And I’ll keep on writing with purpose – making use of the gift that God has given me. I’ve actually penned the first few hundred words of what I hope will be my next faith-based fiction novel (with a working title of “More than Promises”). As I work diligently on completing the first draft of that one, feel free to check out my novel, Light of Grace, available on Amazon as both a Kindle and paperback edition, and share your feedback (good or bad) with me. Oh – and if you’re so inclined, prayers would be appreciated!
I had spent over a year working on a collaborative project with my Adult Bible Fellowship leader that I had to put on the back burner as I entered into my MFA thesis classes. All of my attention and efforts had to be put into my thesis novel. My collaborator continued to work diligently, sending me amazing pieces almost weekly. I knew I would have some catching up to do once my thesis was done. Not a problem, I thought. I’ll have plenty of time to work on the project once I finish my MFA. So my focus remained on my novel project. I remember breathing a huge sigh of relief once I had finally turned it in. All was right in my world once again – until it wasn’t.
I sat in front of my computer, staring at the screen in disbelief. I had received and email telling me that my collaborator was in the hospital and was having a major heart attack. In an instant, all that time I thought I was going to have to devote to the project simply disappeared. With the future so uncertain, I knew in my heart that I had to get my remaining pieces written so that I could get the project self-published as quickly as I possibly could. I wanted my collaborator – no, I wanted my friend to see the completed project in light of all the “What-ifs” that raced through my mind.
So, I set to work immediately, not sure just where I was going to get the inspiration for my pieces. Our project was a a type of devotional that involved telling our stories (which often weren’t pretty) and then showing how God had spoken to us through Scripture concerning those situations in which we had found ourselves (even after the fact in my case). I could not just pull my pieces out of the blue. Thankfully, God gave me what I needed to finish up my own work. I could not have done it any other way.
I worked feverishly to try to figure out the whole self-publishing world and felt like giving up many times. I couldn’t afford to hire an editor or anyone who could help me with it, but I kept at it until I finally was able to get our project uploaded and published. I think one of the most rewarding points across my authorial journey was being able to send my friend the link to our published project. It was waiting for him when he got home from the hospital after having to have quadruple bypass surgery. He told me that when he saw it, he wept. Honestly, so did I as I read his words.
Here’s the thing – in order to get the project uploaded and published, I did not have time to sit and go through each piece to check for errors. My focus was on having it up there for him. I wanted him to see our completed project – and doing so made him smile. I was satisfied with that. The word of the project being published spread quickly and sales began to come in. We had made a mutual agreement early on that we wanted to donate all the proceeds to a worthy cause. The project never was about us. Our hope was that we would touch the hearts of readers with the overwhelming love and hope of Jesus. It was never about the money that might come of it.
All was going along well – until it wasn’t.
If I had to pick one recurring theme that weaved itself between all the essays, group projects, final projects, and everything in between in both my MA and my MFA programs it would be this: As a writer, you must develop thick skin because you cannot please everyone. Negative reviews will come eventually – and when they do, it can be – no, it will be a hard pill to swallow. I heard this so many times that I was pretty confident that I was prepared to handle whatever came my way. I don’t know – maybe I just didn’t really listen to those words.
A well-meaning relative gave a proof copy of the book to someone I practically begged him not to give it to because I knew what she would do with it. Still, he insisted on doing so – I’d like to think because he was proud of it. There were a couple of pieces in it that pertained to him in some way – so maybe that was part of the reason. I will never know. I wrestle with the whole thing even today.
This person did exactly what I thought she would do – she tore the book apart. She did so in a phone conversation I was not meant to hear, but when the conversations are on speaker phone…well, how could I not hear. In short, I was devastated. Her attack wasn’t focused on the mistakes I’d made – it was focused on the personal aspects of what I’d written. I felt as though she was attacking me directly because we had both poured our hearts and souls into the project – I was more open and honest about myself in this project than I have ever been. She didn’t read my partner’s pieces (said she didn’t want to), only mine – and she said so many negative things about them. If it had not been for the fact that my collaborator’s name was on the project, I would have ripped it down in that moment.
I knew there were mistakes. I knew I hadn’t taken the time I should have to properly edit the project. I could have lived with that type of criticism. But the way she aimed it so personally, well…it hit me hard. My heart was crushed and I wanted to hide – but God had something different in mind. I felt the Holy Spirit tapping me on the shoulder and telling me that instead of taking the project down, there was someone else I was supposed to give it to. I fought this nudge. Trust me, I fought it with everything in me – but I finally obeyed and did what I thought I was being asked to do -in spite of the emotional mess doing so left me in. I didn’t want anyone else to see all my mistakes…or me – I just wanted to hide.
It’s been several weeks since this all happened, but it’s only now that I’ve found the courage and the words to put it into writing. I still can’t honestly say that I’ve been able to write anything else since then…mainly because I’m not sure I have anything worth saying anymore. I’m sure that will come in time and with lots of prayer – I know God will bring me through this. I do believe the whole experience happened for a reason…although I might not ever understand it.
I will also say that the feedback I have personally received has been so supportive and has helped me begin to overcome the many of the ugly things that the enemy hurled at me when I was the most vulnerable.
As I sit here, writing this, I can say with confidence that I have revised and edited the project and have (hopefully) caught all my mistakes. The funny thing is that out of the two projects I’ve completed, this little devotional has been the one that’s sold. And really – that fills me with a sense of having done what I feel the Lord has led me to do. I don’t know what the future holds for our project, but if I had to put more importance on one over the other, the devotional would take the top spot. I pray that the Lord will use our stories to touch others – and we both agree that if only one heart is changed, then all the struggles, tears, and doubts that have come along with completing it will all be worth it.
So, no – in light of the circumstances my co-writer and I were facing at the time, I really don’t think I would have done anything differently. Sure – I wish that the first attempt had been “perfect,” but I’m so far from “perfect” that maybe the Lord meant for it all to reflect who I am and is using what I’m walking through to remind me how His love and faithfulness has, and will continue to, be there for me. He’s taking what was meant to harm me and making it into something good.
I can clearly remember how excited I was as I typed the final words of my thesis manuscript, “Light of Grace.” I’d experienced that feeling once before when, after ten years, I finally finished my very first attempt at writing a novel. But this time it felt special – as if only by the grace of God, I’d finished something He’d put before me to do. In all honesty, there were tears in my eyes as I brought my character’s story to its fitting end – an end that came through a new beginning. To say that I was filled with mixed emotions would be an understatement. I was thrilled to have accomplished my goal. I was relieved that my days as a graduate student were drawing to a close after earning both my MA and my MFA. I was excited about the what God had in store for me next.
FIRST STEPS
Based on all the positive feedback I’d received from my professor over the course of my three thesis classes, I ended my novel feeling ready to take the next step towards publication – securing a literary agent. I also decided that if I was going to do this, I was going to start by querying one of the bigger agents in my genre who represented one of my favorite Christian authors, Catherine West. My thought was, “What do I have to lose?” I had all the pieces in place to complete the agency’s submission requirements so I carefully put each where it needed to go. With my heart in my throat, I hesitated, with my finger poised over the “submit” button for what seemed like forever – but finally, I gathered up the courage to hit it. In an instant, my first query was gone – and the waiting game began. I knew it could take up to 60 days to receive a reply, so I did my best to just “forget” about it.
It took less than a week for a reply to come…
IT’S ALL IN HOW YOU LOOK AT IT
Ms. Gardner began her reply by telling me that she liked my idea and really thought it had potential. My breath caught in my chest. Could this be my first real chance at becoming a published author – something I’d dreamed about since the age of fifteen? She went on to say, however, that while she wished she could offer me representation, the major publishers she works with required a solid author platform (social media following, ect) before accepting a manuscript. My heart fell. This was the one thing I didn’t have. While I was exposed to the process in my MFA program, I had (have) no real understanding of how to get this following if I haven’t published yet. She suggested that I take a year to work on developing my author platform and that then, I might have a good chance with a major publisher.
I was disappointed. I’m not going to lie. Having to try to do something that I have no real idea how to do was overwhelming in that moment. But the more I thought about it – an re-read her email – the more I could see the positive side of things. I’d just had an agent tell me she wished she could offer to represent me. She told me that I might have a chance with a major publisher in my genre (Christian fiction). She took time to offer advice on what steps to take. I went from being disappointed to being grateful for her email. Without it, I would have no idea where to go next.
LIFE AFTER GRADUATE SCHOOL
Here’s the funny part – okay, it’s not really funny, but more ironic in my opinion. Since graduating in April, it’s almost as if my creative muse has gone on vacation. I’ve pretty much been dead in the water. I haven’t been able to write, or even to edit really. This goes for both my fiction and my devotional project, which was placed on the back-burner while I was in those final 3 classes. It’s almost as if God gave me the determination to finish “Light of Grace” and then took a step back in giving direction and inspiration. In short, I’ve kind of been floundering around feeling as if I have no purpose.
I explained this to a trusted friend. I related it to how my passion for hiking of the AT seems to have hit a wall (it’s not that I don’t want to go, but more that it just hasn’t worked out to do so) – and I wondered if my dream of becoming a published author was hitting its own roadblocks. I’ve prayed that’s not the case because I don’t know where I’d turn my creative focus onto if I couldn’t write anymore. It’s not that I care about success. I’ve always said that if I touch one person and help them in some way through sharing my faith in my writing, then I consider myself successful. It’s about feeling like I’ve lost my purpose – and it’s caused me to wonder if maybe I was wrong when I felt as if God was giving me the opportunity to use the gifts He’s given me – the gifts of the written word.
This trusted friend reminded me of something the prophet, Jeremiah, probably felt when he was called out of his young life to carry God’s message to His people. Whatever “plan” he’d had for his life was completely derailed. But in doing so, God had something bigger for him. Do I feel God “called” me to be a Christian fiction writer because He had a specific message He wanted me to give to the readers? No, not really. I believe He called me to use my gifts to share His message of love, grace, and mercy through the lives of the characters I bring to life in my writing. And now that I can’t seem to do that, I’ve been restless and out-of-sorts.
THE MESSAGE IN IT ALL
After having some time to think about the guidance my friend gave me, this is what resonates with the most: God isn’t saying to me, “Get up and do something!” Instead, He’s saying, “Don’t do anything – just stand there – be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
I don’t know what’s next in this story of mine that God is writing – but I know the One who does – and I will remind myself of that every time I feel like I should be doing something. In His perfect timing, He will tell me what’s next.
I’ve never been a materialistic person. “Things” just don’t matter much to me. My ex husband could never understand it when I’d tell him that what meant more to me on special occasions was quality time or being made to feel like I mattered rather than buying me expensive gifts. Still – I tend to take for granted all the “things” God has blessed me with. I also tend to place more importance on some of those “things” than I should. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy the basic creature comforts – AC, a hot shower – that sort of thing. It’s just that God uses these trips to my sister’s property in NC, which she’s in the process of trying to develop into a homestead, off-grid type of lifestyle rather than one filled with all the latest technology – it’s come a long way, but there’s still much to be done – to teach me what I truly need and what it really means to “live.”
Yes, she has a reliable spring which provides lots of good, clean water – but getting that water took a lot of work. Yes – it started out with a hand-built outhouse type of restroom, which just on this trip was replaced with a regular, flushing toilet located inside of the old house that still stands on the front of her property. There’s an outdoor shower complete with a propane hot water heater so hot showers are available. Everything about that lifestyle is a bit harder than what we have here – but at the end of the day when I would fall into bed, I slept well with my body tired from doing the work required for just basic household tasks.
How did God use this to humble me? Well, as I just mentioned, He showed me what I truly need versus what my flesh wants.
He also used this trip to humble me in that He showed me the best of humanity. By that I simply mean that her property is located in a very rural, poor part of the state of NC. There are so many that really don’t “have” much – and yet, they take care of each other and they share what they’ve got. We have been accepted into there community (which is basically the street her property is located on), and welcomed with open arms. One of her neighbors has opened up his house to us – whatever we might need, whether it’s laundry, a shower, or use of the freezer – he opened his house to us whenever we need something. They’re building the cabin by hand with the help of two of the guys who live on their street – people they met as they drove by and saw them on the property.
We were all sitting around on the last night of the trip – my brother and his wife drove up for a couple of days – and the man who opened his house to us drove up with a bowl full of cold melons that he’d cut up for us. When he left, my brother was shocked. He said, “That guy is really nice. I’m not used to having someone think about you even when you’re not around and bring stuff like that.” You have to understand that some of these folks have had a hard life in ways that we can’t even imagine. They’re also part of the history of the area – their families date back many, many years – but to them, we are not “outsiders” or “people from Florida” as they call some of the people who visit the area. We are part of their family. God humbled me by showing me what He means when He tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves.
God also used this trip to open my eyes and soften my heart in that I was able to recognize the gift He was giving me – us – in these people who welcomed us so willingly. I was invited to attend church the next time I come up – it’s a small Baptist church that’s been there forever. One man is going to build a fire pit on his property down by the creek so we can all gather and just hang out next time we come. This same man lost his wife while we were there in June last year. I’d met him over the trip my sister and I took back in November of 2020, but was so caught up in the darkness of my anxiety and other issues that I was unable to see the person he is. God opened my eyes and softened my heart towards him and allowed me to see his kindness this time. This is the same man who brought us the melon that evening. I realized it wasn’t just my brother who was so not use to people being so genuine and kind – so willing to go out of their way to help – I’d been that person too.
Lastly, God used this trip to open my eyes and soften my heart to see past the differences in our lifestyles to see how we’re really the same. The people there love being in the mountains just as I do. One man said he’d gone out of town for work and by the time he’d been gone 4 hours, he was homesick. So many enjoy hiking in those mountains just as I do and often spend multiple nights out on a trail doing so. They enjoy camping. Family is important to them. Most of all, the majority of them worship God just as I do – worshiping Him is just as important to them as it is to me. Most have had hard lives, walking through things I can’t even imagine going through – and yet, they found the strength in the Lord that they needed to overcome it.
Finally, God used this trip – as He always does – to build me up and fill my heart with His peace. He is so evident in His Creation all around me. I saw Him in the woods. I saw Him in the clouds. His light shone brightly in the darkness, reflected in the thousands upon thousands of fireflies that lit up each night. I saw Him everywhere and He gave my weary soul its rest from all my troubles. He even spoke to me through a sign I saw on a church – “Stop picking up what you’ve already laid down at God’s feet. On our final night, He gave me a treat. We were gathered on the front porch of the old house due to a thunderstorm, and while we were sitting there, I looked out across to the neighbor’s property just in time to see a full grown black pair stroll across the hillside as it made it’s way up to the ridge line and over into the national forest. It might have been 100 yards away, but not much more. It kind of looked over at us for a second, and then lumbered on its way. While I have a healthy respect (and a pretty big dose of fear) for them, they are truly magnificent creatures to see in the wild. I only wish I’d had my phone on me so I could have gotten a picture – but I have that picture in my mind. God knew it would be the perfect way to bring my time up there to a close.
I’m home now – and I’ll admit that bed felt really good last night – but, while I’ve learned to be content where God’s placed me, I believe His plan for me will lead me back up to where I find Him surrounding me. Yes, Florida belongs to Him – but those mountains will forever be God’s country in my heart.
I’ve been spending a lot of time this past couple of years in the Psalms as I’ve been trying to deal with my own personal battles. There’s been times where I’ve felt like I’m running for my very life, just as David did. There’s been times when those battles threatened to overtake me, leaving me with nowhere to go but to the Lord, my God. As I’ve read and re-read those songs, I’ve started to wonder just what my poem would sound like if I were to write a Psalm to God? Would I tell of my struggles and fears but then turn my circumstances into a song of praise like David did? Would I feel known to – and heard by – God as I felt Him working in my life?
O Lord, You see my battles;
my soul is weary and my heart is afraid.
I look up towards the heavens
and wonder if You’re really there –
if You know me – if You hear me when I lift my voice to You.
I look at this crazy world around me and
am reminded that I am in this world but not of it.
So often, I don’t understand why the things that are happening
are allowed to go on, tearing innocent lives apart
while the criminal walks free.
Yet, I know in my heart that I’m not to judge –
You’ve told us that vengeance is Yours –
You will bring justice for the wrongs.
My eyes don’t see it. My heart doesn’t feel it.
Even so, can it still be?
You tell us that if Your people will humble themselves before You
that You will heal their land.
We need You, O Lord;
I need You, my God.
This season has been long – I can’t help but wonder if You’ve forgotten me.
How can I hang onto that hope when I can’t see you?
The world is filled with noise all around me
that threatens to overcome Your voice –
but it is the midst of the storm – of the earthquakes that unsettle me –
that I hear the whisper of Your still small voice
asking me, “Where are you?”
It is then that my heart stands up inside of me and answers,
“I am here, Lord. I am here.”
It is in that place that I hear Your voice;
I feel Your righteous right hand reaching down to pull me up
from all that threatens to overwhelm me.
You promise me that You never grow weary-
that You’ll never forsake me –
that You’re coming back for me – for us.
Until that day, I will wait on You, Lord –
My soul will wait silently – patiently – on You, my one true God.
My weary soul stands strong as I rest my hope in You –
For You are the Rock of my strength
and Yours is the glory that will carry me home.
Until that day, my soul will wait silently – patiently – on You, my God.
What would your song sound like? I’d love to hear what you come up with if you’d like to share it.
I’ve been struggling today with all the emotions the trials I’m walking through have brought to the surface. I “know” that I’m supposed to give it all to God, but I am having a hard time trying to do that – the anxiety comes and goes, along with all that comes with it. Jesus never promised me that He’d remove me from those hard times – from the things that sometimes seem so large and overwhelming. What He gave me were His promises – His Word – and what I’m sharing today was inspired by a Scripture verse that has reached deep into my heart – at the very core of my insecurities – and reassured me that, even when if feels that no one hears me or that my cries get lost deep in the shuffle of everyday life, He is still there.
SEEN
I think we are born with the longing to be seen. From the moment we take our first breath, we just want to be loved. It’s not a conscious desire that we put into words, but we can communicate it with those around us. As we grow and life slips in and robs us of our childhood innocence, we’re often left with hardened hearts and deeply embedded messages in our minds that tell us we’re not good enough.
We carry these messages with us as we step into the roles we’re expected to fill – a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a fulltime career, a caregiver – and somewhere in the midst of trying to do all of those things, we lose ourselves. Life becomes nothing but a series of going through the motions, without a sense of purpose and, often times, without our dreams. We do the best we can with what we’ve got inside of us. We make our mistakes along the way – some of which hurt others – most of which hurt us even more. We carry on, though, in spite of feeling as if there’s no one out there who can look past the façade we present to the world and just see who we really are.
I often wonder what someone sees when they look at me – if they can see the good parts of me, or if all they see is what’s on the surface without taking time to see what’s in my heart. Can they see past the walls to all the mistakes I’ve made in my lifetime? Do they see someone whose sins are many and feels unworthy of being loved? Can they see past those times when I try to reach out only to fail because I don’t know how – or do they look at those jumbled attempts and figure it’s best to keep me at arm’s length?
Sometimes I just want to stand on the rooftop and scream “See me!” My soul grows weary from just wanting to be seen for who I truly am rather than who I appear to be on the surface. There are days when I want to give up and resign myself to a life of invisibility.
It’s in my weakest moments, however, that Jesus reaches down from the heavens to take me in His arms. He dries my tears and reminds me that I am His, that I am loved, and that He sees me for who I am. Most of all, He whispers in my ear that all those mistakes I’ve made – all those sins I’ve committed – are part of the past. Because of His great love for me, I am seen – I am forgiven – and He tells me that the woman He sees when He looks at me is who I should see when I look at myself because my identity is in Him.
“Do you see this woman? …her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.” ~Luke 7:44,47
We all have those days – those days when we can be so aware of all of our blessings and yet feel as if we’re walking though our trials alone – days when it seems as if nobody sees us. If you’re comfortable sharing yours, please do so in the “Leave Comment” section to your left. I’d love to hear from you.
***This was taken from the upcoming collaborative devotional I’m currently working on with William Obaugh, “Journeys of Faith: Two Ordinary People, One Extraordinary God.
I’ve been struggling today with all the emotions the trials I’m walking through have brought to the surface. I “know” that I’m supposed to give it all to God, but I am having a hard time trying to do that – the anxiety comes and goes, along with all that comes with it. Jesus never promised me that He’d remove me from those hard times – from the things that sometimes seem so large and overwhelming. What He gave me were His promises – His Word – and what I’m sharing today was inspired by a Scripture verse that has reached deep into my heart – at the very core of my insecurities – and reassured me that, even when if feels that no one hears me or that my cries get lost deep in the shuffle of everyday life, He is still there.
SEEN
I think we are born with the longing to be seen. From the moment we take our first breath, we just want to be loved. It’s not a conscious desire that we put into words, but we can communicate it with those around us. As we grow and life slips in and robs us of our childhood innocence, we’re often left with hardened hearts and deeply embedded messages in our minds that tell us we’re not good enough.
We carry these messages with us as we step into the roles we’re expected to fill – a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a fulltime career, a caregiver – and somewhere in the midst of trying to do all of those things, we lose ourselves. Life becomes nothing but a series of going through the motions, without a sense of purpose and, often times, without our dreams. We do the best we can with what we’ve got inside of us. We make our mistakes along the way – some of which hurt others – most of which hurt us even more. We carry on, though, in spite of feeling as if there’s no one out there who can look past the façade we present to the world and just see who we really are.
I often wonder what someone sees when they look at me – if they can see the good parts of me, or if all they see is what’s on the surface without taking time to see what’s in my heart. Can they see past the walls to all the mistakes I’ve made in my lifetime? Do they see someone whose sins are many and feels unworthy of being loved? Can they see past those times when I try to reach out only to fail because I don’t know how – or do they look at those jumbled attempts and figure it’s best to keep me at arm’s length?
Sometimes I just want to stand on the rooftop and scream “See me!” My soul grows weary from just wanting to be seen for who I truly am rather than who I appear to be on the surface. There are days when I want to give up and resign myself to a life of invisibility.
It’s in my weakest moments, however, that Jesus reaches down from the heavens to take me in His arms. He dries my tears and reminds me that I am His, that I am loved, and that He sees me for who I am. Most of all, He whispers in my ear that all those mistakes I’ve made – all those sins I’ve committed – are part of the past. Because of His great love for me, I am seen – I am forgiven – and He tells me that the woman He sees when He looks at me is who I should see when I look at myself because my identity is in Him.
“Do you see this woman? …her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.” ~Luke 7:44,47
We all have those days – those days when we can be so aware of all of our blessings and yet feel as if we’re walking though our trials alone – days when it seems as if nobody sees us. If you’re comfortable sharing yours, please do so in the “Leave Comment” section to your left. I’d love to hear from you.
***This was taken from the upcoming collaborative devotional I’m currently working on with William Obaugh, “Journeys of Faith: Two Ordinary People, One Extraordinary God.
