I’ve been struggling today with all the emotions the trials I’m walking through have brought to the surface. I “know” that I’m supposed to give it all to God, but I am having a hard time trying to do that – the anxiety comes and goes, along with all that comes with it. Jesus never promised me that He’d remove me from those hard times – from the things that sometimes seem so large and overwhelming. What He gave me were His promises – His Word – and what I’m sharing today was inspired by a Scripture verse that has reached deep into my heart – at the very core of my insecurities – and reassured me that, even when if feels that no one hears me or that my cries get lost deep in the shuffle of everyday life, He is still there.

SEEN

I think we are born with the longing to be seen.  From the moment we take our first breath, we just want to be loved.  It’s not a conscious desire that we put into words, but we can communicate it with those around us.  As we grow and life slips in and robs us of our childhood innocence, we’re often left with hardened hearts and deeply embedded messages in our minds that tell us we’re not good enough.

As we step into our roles:

We carry these messages with us as we step into the roles we’re expected to fill – a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a fulltime career, a caregiver – and somewhere in the midst of trying to do all of those things, we lose ourselves.  Life becomes nothing but a series of going through the motions, without a sense of purpose and, often times, without our dreams. We do the best we can with what we’ve got inside of us.  We make our mistakes along the way – some of which hurt others – most of which hurt us even more.  We carry on, though, in spite of feeling as if there’s no one out there who can look past the façade we present to the world and just see who we really are.

What do they see?

I often wonder what someone sees when they look at me – if they can see the good parts of me, or if all they see is what’s on the surface without taking time to see what’s in my heart.  Can they see past the walls to all the mistakes I’ve made in my lifetime?  Do they see someone whose sins are many and feels unworthy of being loved?  Can they see past those times when I try to reach out only to fail because I don’t know how – or do they look at those jumbled attempts and figure it’s best to keep me at arm’s length? 

Is anyone out there?

Sometimes I just want to stand on the rooftop and scream “See me!”  My soul grows weary from just wanting to be seen for who I truly am rather than who I appear to be on the surface.  There are days when I want to give up and resign myself to a life of invisibility.

He sees…

It’s in my weakest moments, however, that Jesus reaches down from the heavens to take me in His arms.  He dries my tears and reminds me that I am His, that I am loved, and that He sees me for who I am.  Most of all, He whispers in my ear that all those mistakes I’ve made – all those sins I’ve committed – are part of the past.  Because of His great love for me, I am seen – I am forgiven – and He tells me that the woman He sees when He looks at me is who I should see when I look at myself because my identity is in Him.

“Do you see this woman?  …her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.” ~Luke 7:44,47 

Let’s Talk.

We all have those days – those days when we can be so aware of all of our blessings and yet feel as if we’re walking though our trials alone – days when it seems as if nobody sees us. If you’re comfortable sharing yours, please do so in the “Leave Comment” section to your left. I’d love to hear from you.

***This was taken from the upcoming collaborative devotional I’m currently working on with William Obaugh, “Journeys of Faith: Two Ordinary People, One Extraordinary God.

Please follow and like us:

4 thoughts on “”

  1. I had a conversation with my husband the other night. He’s constantly telling me that I “like” things that I really don’t like that much. I do them because it’s what I’ve always done–things like cooking dinner, paying the bills, making the decisions, going to the store. I do them because it’s what everyone expects me to do. But do I “like” doing them? No.

    I’ve been to a few funerals lately where someone has died and the person we thought we knew was not the person other people knew. Someone who I thought was closed off and judgemental spent her life giving to others. I have to say I was shocked. Why did I not see her that way? Was it because she never showed me that part of herself or was it because I never took the time to really get to know her?

    Sometimes I think that’s how others see me. They see what they want to see. They think I like the things I do and don’t take the time to ask me what I really like. I’ve noticed it lately with my daughter who refuses to accept the fact that I do not like flavored tea. I’ve told her over and over again, but every Christmas and birthday she buys me tea. I love her but I wonder if she really sees me.

    I think when I die my family will read my journals and be shocked. It makes me think I should just trash them and let them be oblivious to the person I am. I think when it comes right down to it, only God knows us–really knows us. Because we have to be honest with him and even when we aren’t He knows our hearts.

    At my age, it might be time to ask myself, “How do others see me and is it the person I truly am or just a person they want me to be?”

    1. Suzanne,
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I have recently been “hit upside the head,” if you will, by the fact that what we “think” we know about someone often times isn’t really part of who they are. Our eyes see what’s on the surface and our ears don’t really hear what’s being said. It all kind of reminds me of what God told Isaiah to say to His people in Isaiah 6:9-10 –

      “Keep on hearing, but do not understand; Keep on seeing, but do not perceive. Make the heart of this people dull, and their ears heavy, and shut their eyes;”

      I also often wonder if the problem is within me because, as you know, I’m not someone who likes to let others “see” me. I think you’re right when you say that at your age – at my age – it’s time to re-evaluate how others us and ask ourselves if it’s truly the person we are or just who they want me to be – and then let the Lord guide us into His purpose for our lives rather than us striving to meet the expectations of others.

      Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and story. Every word that you said resonated with me – our situations might be different, but what we’re walking through bonds us together as we try to share each other’s burdens.

      1. I love that verse in Isaiah and I think it’s exactly what we are all experiencing right now. Are we really listening? Are we paying attention? Do we see what we need to see or only what we want to see?

        I think about my mother and I wonder if I really saw her at all. I wonder how much of who she was became who we all wanted her to be. And it hurts my heart to think I didn’t listen to her while she was with me.

        Lots of regrets lately, but I’m reminded that the past is the past and we can’t change it. We can change how we act and respond in the future. That’s my goal.

        1. The Director of Idlewild’s Special Needs program just suggested a book on what you’re talking about in terms of your mother. It’s called “Anatomy of the Soul,” by Curt Thompson. I just got it yesterday and have started reading it – all I’ve gotten through is the intro but it’s an encouraging book so far. He ties faith to neuroscience in a way that helps us change.

          Yes – we can’t go back and change the past. Sometimes I wish I could, but then I wouldn’t be where I am today if I’d done anything different, so God really has worked it all for my good.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.